


a weekend, just the three of us, and a little bit of a gang war

by Nafmas



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Grand Theft Auto Setting, Established Relationship, Fake AH Crew, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 08:43:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17200283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nafmas/pseuds/Nafmas
Summary: “I asked how your weekend went because you started a war with the Corpirate and you’re telling me you also robbed a bank?!”“Oh, I thought it was odd how you phrased ‘How was your weekend?’”





	a weekend, just the three of us, and a little bit of a gang war

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a fic swap that took place in October...
> 
> I mean it is before the end of the year?
> 
> Sorry...

Jack pulled out of the garage. Michael sat in the back playing on his phone and Geoff sat in the front seat. As they pulled up to a stoplight he paused for a moment and made and uncomfortable noise.

“What’s wrong?” Jack asked looking at him from the side.

Michael looked up from his phone. “Did you forget something, because I swear-”

Geoff shook his head, “No, no, I just got a bad feeling…”

A silence fell over the car.

“It’ll be fine.” Geoff shrugged. “You know, they can’t possibly do that much damage.” He spoke, stroking his mustache pensively.

The car remained silent.

“That silence is really reassuring, guys.” Geoff put his hand on the driver seat and looked around to Michael.

The light turned green and Jack took a moment before his realized and began the car again with a jolt. “Geoff...”

“I mean we don’t really have a choice.” Michael leaned back and kicked his scuffed converse up on the middle console. “They’ll be fine. We’ll clean up whatever mess they make when we get back.”

“Yeah, it’s not a matter of if they will cause damage, it’s how much damage.” Jack told him.

“Dear God, please be kind to us.”

Everyone in the car gave a stifled laugh before Jack took a sharp turn making the tires squeal.  
______

Gavin squealed one of his bird noises, “Can someone tell me the rules again, I think I already forgot.”

“We’ve been playing for forty minutes what do you mean you already forgot the rules! You just had your turn!” Ryan yelled as he threw down the money he was holding. “I thought you were the one that wanted to play monopoly with real money!”

“Yeah, but I didn’t realize that there’s not actually that much money in monopoly, it seemed like a lot more when I was younger. 15 thousand doesn’t seem like a lot when we stole 2 billion last week just faffing about.”

Ryan rolls his eyes, “Is this just a ploy to make us stop playing so you can take all my money?” Smacking Jeremy’s hand away from his bank.

“Would you believe me if I said no?” Gavin smirked at Jeremy.

_____

Geoff cleared his throat interrupting Ryan’s retelling of the weekend. “I’m sorry, this all started with a game of monopoly?”

Jeremy, Ryan, and Gavin all fell silent.

Jeremy piped up, “It was Gavin’s idea?”

“My idea?! You were the one that wanted to steal Ryan’s money!”

“Yeah but you were the one that thought of the stupid monopoly.”

_____

“Quick, grab the cash, I’ll hold him down.” Jeremy yelled as he jumped at Ryan.

“Wait, what-” Ryan fell to the ground as Jeremy straddled him and held his arms above his head.

“Run! I can’t hold him for long!”

“I’ll remember your sacrifice, Jeremy!” Gavin screeched as he grabbed all the cash in the bank as well as from Ryan’s personal stash.

“Don’t you dare touch that money Gavin or so help me God you will wish you were dead.”

Gavin squeaked as his grabbed the cash and ran for the entrance to the penthouse.

“I will hunt you down, Free!”  
____

“I think I remember explicitly telling you to not to fuck anything up too much.”

Jeremy puts his hands up in a placating gesture, “Hey now, who thought leaving the three of us alone was a good idea?”

Geoff sighed putting his head in his hands.

___

“Now, Jeremy. We can do this the easy way, and you tell me what I want to know, or we can do this the fun way.” Ryan paced in front of the folding chair that he had tied Jeremy to.

“Ryan, Battle Buddy, Let’s be reasonable.”

“Reasonable left when we started playing a board game with real money and you guys cheated.”

“It’s supposed to be a funny joke Ryan, I mean, what’s 15k to you?”

“Nothing, but it's the principle, Jeremy. Tell me where Gavin is.”

“You can’t make me talk!”

“Wanna bet?”

___

“I want you to skip over this part.” Geoff spoke from the comfort of his face-palm.

Gavin whined, “We were just getting to the good part.”

“Is it because you don’t want to know how he got the information out of me?” Jeremy wiggled his eyebrows at Geoff.

“Because,” Came Geoff’s muffled reply, “It either ends in sex or torture and I just want to skip the gritty details.”

Ryan smiles, “You know me very well, Geoff.”

Geoff let out a loud, annoyed groan. “Yes, because it's probably both.”

“Ooh cheeky, sad I missed out.” Gavin grinned at the two.

___

Gavin was rocking back and forth from the balls of his feet to his heels. He was humming something a little off tune. He looked down at his absurdly expensive watch. “Man, actually waiting in line at a bank sucks.” He whispered under his breath.

___

“Hold on,” Geoff lifted his head stopping Ryan again. “You were planning on hiding the money in a bank?”

The three went silent.

“‘Course Geoff, where else do you put money?”

“Not the bank on 43rd…”

The three were quiet again.

“I asked how your weekend went because you started a war with the Corpirate and you’re telling me you also robbed a bank?!” Geoff was breathing heavily.

“Oh, I thought it was odd how you phrased ‘How was your weekend?’” Jeremy huffed.

“I don’t even know anymore.” Geoff gesticulated widely.

___

“Everyone on the ground.” The Vagabond’s voice echoed throughout the room. His imposing figure threw a large duffel bag onto the floor.

“Fake crew coming through! Empty your trays and give us your money!” Rimmy Tim ran in with a machine gun in each arm.

The people in the bank began to mumble and cower, emptying their pockets and laying on the floor. Some people looked like this was the third time this week.

“Rimmy!” Gavin shouted, pointing accusingly across the bank at Jeremy. “You sold me out!”

Jeremy smiled. “There was nothing I could do! He’s too terrifying!” He snickered.

Gavin rolled his eyes, “I feel so betrayed little J.” He frowned emphasizing the t’s.

“Hand it over Gavin, and I won’t hurt you.”  
“Are you going to kill me?”

The Vagabond let his head tilt unnaturally in his mask. Several of the bank goers nearby whimpered. “Depends. How are you going to make it up to me?”  
Gavin sauntered her over to him, giving his wad of cash to the Vagabond. He slipped the sunglasses that were hanging around the collar of his loose shirt on. “How about I get you twice the amount I stole?” He whispered in his ear sensuously and ran a finger down the front of his leather jacket. Then he smirked, “And then I’ll let you shag me later.”  
The Vagabond shrugged, untucking the back of Gavin’s shirt stroking his back a little, “You say that like you weren’t going to do it once we start this little charade.”  
Gavin grinned.  
“Money in the bags you sods!” He shouted pulling the pair of golden handguns from the back of his waistband.  
____

“I thought the 43rd was some other gang.”  
“Did you?”  
“No, but I thought I should stay optimistic. So that was the end of the evening?”  
“Good news, that was the end of Friday.”  
“That was just Friday?”  
Ryan pulled a duffelbag from the side of the chair he was straddling and threw it at Geoff’s feet. “A make-up present?” He suggested.  
Geoff opened the bag and sighed heavily. “For Friday, maybe. What happened Saturday? Oh Dear God, what happened this morning?”  
“Geoff, you’re going to ruin the continuity of the story!” Jeremy chirped.  
____

It was always surprisingly domestic in the morning of the FAHC penthouse. Ryan filled the coffee maker and started cracking eggs. He knew to start Jeremy’s french toast first because the soggy bread would bother Gavin, and he always woke up before Jeremy. He kept the french toast under a second plate while he made Gavin’s eggs, basically overcooked. He hated the wiggly parts. Hand those to Gavin and the smell would usually wake Jeremy. Give him the french toast and have a nice warm and finished cup of coffee. It was basically an art form, the three of them.

Gavin clears his throat. “So, I was thinking about trying to make up for yesterday.”

Jeremy shoveled the rest of his french toast into his mouth, “Wwha wa tha idow?”

Gavin laughed lightly turning to Ryan, “Date Night.”

Jeremy and Ryan were silent for a moment.

“Me first!” Jeremy screamed swallowing first.

Ryan smiles.

Gavin said, “Aww, it was my idea, I’ll go next.”

“And I’ll bring up the rear.”

___

“What, no sarcastic comments about our date nights?” Ryan asked.

“Honestly I shouldn’t expect anything less.”

“Alright then,”

___

Jeremy started with a trip to the airfield.

“So I’ve put together some games for us to play. Mostly just figuring out which one of these beautiful vehicles can explode the fastest. The explosions for Gavin and the multitude of guns and cars for Ryan. I know, I know you guys so well.”

The fire that preceded was probably larger than any of them were planning, but it was fun to say the least.

“I feel like my date idea is dumb now.” Gavin mumbled as they walked away from the airfield to get into Ryan’s car to drive to the next location. “I thought we could just blow everyone’s mind at an actual date site. So I picked the pier.”

“Ooh the Ferris Wheel.” Jeremy smiled.

“Yeah and I thought Ryan could win us some of those rank Carnival games.”

“I’m in. We just have to not explode anything there.”

___

“Okay, I’m not seeing how this ends with the Corpirate’s warehouse exploding.”

“Shh, we’re getting there. The Carnival games are an integral part.”

“Good God.”

___

It’s not hard to tell when criminals have arrived at the pier. The crowds begin to thin and everyone gives a wide berth. The weird part was, the crowds were already thin. Someone from another crew was already here.

“It’s fine, We’re all just pretending to be civies here. We can be civil.”

Ryan gave Gavin a blunt look, “We should leave while we’re ahead.”

“But Ry-bread, I wanted a stuffed animal larger than I am.” He pouted.

“Yeah Ry.” Jeremy joined in the pouting.

___

“The pouting overrode your common sense?”

“Why do you think I am in the situation I am in, ever?”

“Valid point.”

____

“I want the big purple one.”

Jeremy literally jumped up and down, “Oh it is a terrible Spyro knockoff! Ryan, Come on!”

Ryan aimed the shitty fake rifle, and fired. The aiming was rigged off the the right, he easily counteracted its effects on the second shot.

“Yes Ryan!”

“Good now like five more times!”

Ryan sighed.

Everything was going well, he was one more shot away from the stupid dragon looking thing when someone shoved into him and threw off his aim.

“Hey!” Gavin yelled at the person.

The guy had greased back hair spat on the ground and turned around, “What?”

Gavin’s eyes narrowed, and his expressions went blank.

Jeremy coughed, “It’s impolite the bump into people and not apologize.”

“You were in my way,” He sized up the three of them. His three buddies in the background snickered.

“You smell like someone’s lackey, I’d tread lightly if I were you.” Ryan growled.

He smirked, “And what are you gonna do about it pretty boy?”

Gavin drew his gun and shot him in the head before Ryan could even respond.

“Good God, babe!”

____

“Gavin!”

“He threw off Ryan’s aim. I wanted that dragon.”

“You shot a man!”

“Yeah, well, you’re welcome.”

____

Dispatching the rest of the goons was as easy as breathing to Ryan. Ryan snapped one neck and the other two of them fled.

Ryan was patting non-existent dirt from his hands as he turned to his dates. “So I feel like we should clean up this mess.”

The coldness hadn’t left Gavin’s eyes.

Jeremy sighed, “I think Gavin is in a mood.”

“Let’s blow something up. I’m changing my date night submission. We’re going to blow up a warehouse.”

Jeremy smiled, “Okay, we can go blow off some steam.”

“I’ll call someone.” Ryan sighed, pulling out his phone.

____

“You know better than to believe he was just blowing off some steam!” Geoff yelled at Jeremy.

“Well it was date night, I thought I’d be optimistic.”

____

“This one.”

Ryan paused for a second. “Why does this one look familiar?”

Jeremy tapped a finger on his chin, “I feel like you’re right, but I can’t-”

Jeremy was interrupted as Gavin already took out a rocket launcher and let the first rocket go.

It made an impressive whooshing noise.

“Jesus Christ!”

“Oh my God, Gavin!” Jeremy stared at the explosion.

“That’s because it’s the Corpirate’s warehouse holding their crack for the moment. Geoff was still on the edge as to whether we should heist them or burn it to the ground. So I made an executive decision.”

“Is it weird that I’m turned on right now?” Jeremy whispered to Ryan.

Ryan loaded his own rocket launcher, “Absolutely.” He replied simply, fired his launcher, turned and kissed Jeremy, “But welcome to my world.”

____  
“Gross, stop.”

“Sorry.”

“That was some pretty good sex though.”

“Moving On!”

____

Its weird how domestic life can be when you’ve literally started a gang war last night. Make Coffee, French Toast, Overcooked Eggs, Coffee.

“So Netflix?”

“Can we just watch like Stardust? It’s got space pirates and Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert De Niro!” Jeremy recommends

“Eh-” Gavin shrugs,

“He cross-dresses?” Jeremy questioned.

“Ooh! I’m on board,” Gavin smiled.

Ryan shrugs and clicks to the movie as it begins. “When have I ever been known to successfully deny you two?’

____

“Wait, but you’re not even done with Stardust yet.”

Ryan scrunched his eyebrows together, “Uh, no, it doesn’t look like it.

“I got up and made popcorn though.” Jeremy piped up.

Geoff stood up, “So we come home to you assholes acting all domestic when you,” Geoff takes a shaky breath, “started a gang war yesterday.”  
Ryan looks at the other two and Gavin shrugs, “Yes, I believe that was the story I just regaled you with.”

Geoff screamed incoherently. “We left you alone for one weekend! I came home early because I knew some kind of shit like this was gonna happen!”

There was silence after Geoff screamed.

“Did you expect anything else?”

“I’m going to bed.”

“It’s one in the afternoon.”

“I don’t regret quitting drinking, but sometimes.” He shakes his clenched fist. “Ooh.” He slowly walks into the hall and down to his room.

“I thought it was a lovely weekend Rye-bread.”

“Yes, definitely one for the books.” Jeremy agreed.

Ryan smiled lovingly at his two boyfriends and pressed play on the remote.

**Author's Note:**

> This was totally proofread...
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> but if anyone notices any super weird errors, hit a girl up.


End file.
